The Thing (2011) review

The Thing (2011)

Review by George Elcombe

“Maybe it was looking for somewhere warm”

Looking for somewhere warm? Like manure, or afterbirth. This is what this film is. Plot: A UFO crash landed in the Antarctic, the alien got out and froze, some scientists dig it up, it goes around absorbing its victims whilst making perfect copies of them in a gory fashion, the scientists managed to get some flamethrowers.

This is a prequel to John Carpenters 1982 film of the same name, which is a classic. Full of suspense, characters you care about and creature effects which still look amazing today. Seriously, watch that film, it’s great. From the opening with the dog being chased by the crazy Norwegian in the helicopter, to the immortal closing line, that film is great.

This prequel had only one thing to get right. Show why the dog was being chased by the crazy Norwegian in the helicopter, and just like Wolverine (2009) it failed. What bugs me about this film? Characters: flat, stereotypical, even with the intelligent Brit as the bad guy. Mr Eko from lost is in it! And he even sucks. There are plot holes (which I shall address later). But what really done it for me? CGI.

Seriously, the old monster movies you saw got into your head and made you scared as they never gave you a good look of the monster until the end. The 1982 ‘sequel’ to this film is a master class of drip feeding you brief images of it and what it can do, keeping you guessing and reveals itself in a great ‘WTF’ moment when someone looses there head.

Old horror films are scary as your imagination creates what the monster fully looks like in your head. Limp and shiny CGI can’t do that. It completely destroys any chills or tension.

I read about the production and was hoping they would have used more prosthetic effects in this film, which have come leaps and bounds since 1982. But apparently a studio head decided to delay the films release so they could add more CGI. Well done Universal, you made an un-scary and un-necessary horror film.

It’s a trend of remakes / prequels / sequels to classic films that notoriously fail. It’s the same basic story being retold. But where this film also fails is two significant plot holes: 1) Leaving a character alive. They did not turn up in the 1982 version, so was this intentional so that they can team up with the survivors of the latter for a third film? I wouldn’t rule it out. 2) The Norwegian chasing the dog disappears halfway in the film and then jumps onto the chopper with his gun at the end. They had a good look at the grenades that would destroy the chopper later, but didn’t show them being loaded onto the chopper.

This felt like a bad pilot for a cheap television network.

It has a few saving graces but overall they should have done better.

2/10

If you like / watch instead:

The Thing (1982)

The Fly (1986)

District 9 (2009)