Predators (2010) review

Predators (2010)

Review by George Elcombe

“Welcome to the jungle”

What can I say? I am writing this review as I watch the film and I’m confused. I would have loved this if I was 12 years old, but this film is an anti climax. Seriously, after the first half hour it’s limp and generic.

Seriously, I don’t care about this film or anyone in it. Yes, all the humans on the planet are mealy fodder for the beasties, to die in horrible ways for my amusement, but even when they die I don’t care. Except when Lawrence Fishburne died, but a Predator cannon shoots holes through people, it doesn’t make them explode.

Plot: a bunch of human bad asses awake while falling from the sky fully armed with a variety of weapons. Parachutes open, they land, group up, realise there being hunted and that there on an alien planet after reaching a cliff and noticing three planets in low orbit. Erm, wait. I know this is an action film but this is where I turned off. Why didn’t any of them look around when they were falling and see the other three planets in orbit? Speaking from experience, you have so much adrenalin pumping through you when you skydive that you are aware of everything around you! But you don’t even see these planets in the opening shot, there just not there. Thank you for playing us for idiots for a ‘wow’ moment later on which didn’t make sense. So anyway, they all get picked off one by one, fight a few Predators and Adrian Brody has a show down with mega Predator on steroids.

Yet again this is another poor use of a franchise which was famous for action and suspense. Granted, this has some good action scenes, but no suspense at all. The script is also shabby and I would have preferred Morpheus to have not been mad, just a bad ass. Oh yeah, there’s a bit where a human teams up with a Predator. Didn’t they see how much that sucked in Alien Vs Predator (2004)? And Adrian Brody’s gruff voice? Really doesn’t suit him.

Good points: the build up, a Predator vs a yakuza with a sword. The fact I didn’t see Topher Grace as a villain, but it was a ultimately pointless reveal. Lawrence Fishburne was underused but liked him in it. Erm, that’s about it.

Bad points: Predator dogs, Predator vs Predator, Adrian Brody teaming up with a Predator. Seriously, the monsters loose all menace at this point. And the movie is predictable as hell! Also there is a lack of Danny Trejo. Why couldn’t we have seen him with a really big knife vs a Predator? That would have been great! On paper this film should have been great. From the mind of Rob Rodriguez (just watch Desperado (1995) or From Dusk till Dawn (1996)) The concept of a Predator hunting planet is awesome. Apparently 20^th Centaury Fox just gave the filmmakers a bunch of money to make it and I admire the creative freedom.

Oh, and this is another film that is set up for a sequel which will never happen. What I would have liked? A lot more aliens. And not the one you see, I’m on about HR Gigers xenomorphs. Up in trees, picking off humans and Predators alike. One can dream of the Alien vs Predator vs Human battle royal that we deserve.

But ultimately this feels like a film long in development, rushed into production, and ultimately feels half baked.

I just hope Prometheus (2012) is better than this.

5 out of 10

If you like this try:

Predator (1987)

Pitch Black (2000)